This is how I wear earrings

NM (NOT MEG): Wow, not looking so fabulous. You sure didn’t take the time to get ready this morning, did ya?

MEG: What are you talking about? Did you notice I am wearing earrings? How could you think I didn’t get ready this morning?

I do not associate with anybody mean enough to actually say what NM said, but it is what I imagine all the people I don’t associate with because they are meanie pants would say, and what all the nice people I associate with would say if they were meanie pants. 

I also do not recommend using earrings to try to fake people into believing you got up early enough to look decent. It doesn’t work.